6 Things To Look For When You Hire A Coach or A Mentor
Can you swim by reading how to swim? The answer is no. You have to jump into the water first - may be struggle or even drown a few times before learn how to swim. Then you learn how to float. Then learn breaststroke. Butterfly Stroke. Sidestroke. Then you might start jumping into the river. Then the ocean. By then, can you teach how to swim? Of course.
The moral of the story is - we learn, we live, we embody and then we go out and share. That’s part of the Hero’s Journey that I frequently talk about.
Now we’re at a time in history where everything is readily available. If you look at the image above, you’ll see how many people are jumping onto the internet. Fast. Also with the coaching industry booming and also being one of the most lucrative industries, the market is getting saturated with coaches. Like everything, it has pros and cons. The good thing is that, we’re never short of help. The worrying thing is, are they all qualified? No.
I’ve hired my first coach for $9,000 who happened to be a complete scam. But did it stop me from hiring more coaches? No. Since then I’ve worked with 9 other coaches and mentors. I can’t let fear stop me from moving forward but I learn from taking action.
In the last three years, I’m fortunate enough to have trained 800 people in leadership, over 2000 in personal development and mindset, and people from 11 countries as one-on-one private clients in Business and Life Coaching. And the only way to learn is from taking action.
I’m a big believer in learning, living, experiencing, embodying and then teaching it. Otherwise, it goes against my rules of being authentic, having solid experience and being an embodied leader. From my experience of hiring coaches myself and also having been hired by others, I can share a thing or two on that very topic - hot topic which I’ve been asked so many times.
So below, I will share with you 6 things that you need to look for when you’re thinking of hiring a coach or a mentor.
1. Who they are as a person
Does it matter to you who they are as a person? Last year, I was invited by one of the top coaches in the world to come and speak on his stage where people from 61 countries were flying over. I’d also get to have dinner with celebrities like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Pacino and entrepreneurs like Mark Zuckerberg. I was ready to book my ticket and fly all the way to the US from Australia. Then I’d get to spend time with a group of other elite entrepreneurs at his beach-side mansion for a mastermind, go on a yacht and live a bling-bling lifestyle.
But then I asked myself “What does being true to myself mean?”
It means that I will only work with people who share the same values as me. He’s going to be a great coach for my business for sure but to him, it’s all about business and numbers. As much as it was appealing, I decided not to go.
2. Their background
No, I’m not talking about who their parents are but more of, how did they get to where they are now. Were they handed a gold platter to start a business or did they go through trials and errors? When they share a story, is it an exaggerated story that sells or are they truly being honest? I don’t need to get a Private Investigator to do a background check but you can tell where a person comes from if we pay attention.
I want someone who’s gone through trials and tribulations. Someone who’s ahead of me but not too far that they won’t relate to where I am. Or vice versa. I want someone who walked the path I’m on right now so they are not giving me the ‘exact blueprint’ they walked (which might not even work for me) but pathways that will work for me.
3. Their outlook
Life isn’t one-dimensional. Therefore, we can’t just focus on one area and hope that everything will get into alignment. Meaning, whether it’s business or life, the holistic approach is the way. I’ve met coaches who say “get over it” to someone who’s dealing with problems at home. As much as it sounds easy, sometimes we just can’t get over it.
We need guidance and support from someone who can shift our thinking and someone who can shine the light on our blindspots. And of course sometimes, who will catch our BS too. We all deserve someone who care for us from the heart space but be able to have discernment that they can lead us firmly but with empathy.
4. Their energy
You can feel their energy even through their emails. Do you look forward to their emails, videos and blog posts? Do you save their posts on Facebook so you never miss anything? Do they inspire you in a way that even if you’re feeling down, you push yourself to get something done? Their energy is important. Because their energy comes from what they’re embodying. And energy is transferable.
Nobody deserves to be coached by someone who has negative, competitive or lack energy. And you deserve to work with people only who truly care about your growth rather than what you will add to their bank account.
5. Their embodiment
It’s so easy these days to read a blog post, watch a video and listen to an audio to regurgitate words. This is the discernment we all need when we listen to someone - especially if we’re about to invest in someone. Are they living what they preach? Are they continuously learning? Are they being honest? Are they authentic? If they are, don’t put them on the pedestal but love them up so much that they’ll want help you succeed. They deserve to be loved and praised for their work too.
6. Their experience
Because we’re at a time in history where everything is so readily available, we’re under the impression that we need to be on the go all the time, compete, complete first and get things fast! Trust me, I’ve been that person my whole life until I had a huge realisation how it was affecting my whole life. The problem with this is - we tend to jump steps without acquiring proper experience and sometimes it can do more harm than good.
Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield and Dr. John Demartini - these are the gurus of the industry. There’s one thing they all say in common; mastery takes time. In order to truly learn about a certain trade, the person needs to be doing that day in day out for at least three years. Then they get to a stage where they start embodying and parting wisdom.
So in short, just like everything else in life, it’s good to want to get things done fast but it’s wise to have discernment. Let me know how this post have helped you. I’d love to hear from you.
Arabelle is a writer, lover of life and adventurer. Goes by the official titles of International Speaker, Life & Business Strategist and Clinical Psychotherapist.
Born as a buddhist, taught in ancient indigenous wisdom, trained in modern healing modalities and naturally curious about life, Arabelle teaches, writes and speaks about all things Mindset, Leadership, Personal Development and Business startups.
If you haven't, you might want to check out her free trainings here.