8 Powerful Ways To Let Go So You Can Make Space For New Things
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it". - Ann Landers
At one point in our lives, we have to let go; our job, business, loved ones, pets or that old shirt that teddy bear we had since five. I see letting go as a sign of growth, a test and a pivotal moment of transformation. Because in the process of letting go, we gain so much more.
I have let go of so many things in my life; from jobs to marriage. Recently, I purposely let go of 80% of my belongings because I wanted to test myself and see what it’s like to live very little possession but a lot of space and love in my heart.
So if you’re going through this process, I have a few tips here that I practice whenever it’s time for me to let go.
1. Why we don’t want to let go
You know, there’s a benefit in not letting go. When I work with my clients on letting go of the things that don’t serve them anymore, they’re consciously wanting to let go but they also know that subconsciously they are holding onto some. Why?
- Fear of unknown: It’s familiar to stay where you are because at least it’s a known territory. To go into the unknown? That’s scarier than holding onto what doesn’t serve you anymore.
- Not being ready: We all have the invisible threshold or limit to which we can endure the challenges. If we’re not in deep enough s*** and if it hasn’t hit the fan yet, we’re not ready enough to let go yet.
- Victim consciousness: It’s true that 99% of humans live in victim consciousness because by assuming the victim role, we can get empathy, attention and love from other people. We feel less lonely.
2. Why we must let go
So then why must you let go? You’re changing. You’re transforming. You’re growing. The situation that you’re in no longer serves you. It doesn’t align to your core values anymore. It’s changing you into someone you’re not.
And the thing is, when you're holding onto what doesn’t serve you anymore because of fear, anger or insecurity, you’re actually bound to that situation by an emotional and energetic link that’s stronger than steel. The only way to dissolve that link and to be really free is to let go.
Also, imagine holding onto a basket full of things from the past. As we hold onto it and as it gets filled with things, it becomes heavier and heavier with no space for new things to come in. The only way to create space for new things is to let go of the old stuff.
So how do we do that?
3. Accept and be grateful
Whether it’s a business deal gone wrong, relationship breakdown or getting hurt by loved ones, the normal human reaction is shock and denial. However when we accept that it has happened, we’re being present with the emotion - anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety, etc. - it helps us be centred rather than be everywhere.
This is the critical moment of test to see how we respond to life’s little challenges; we have a choice. Do we play victim and do the blame game?
Or… do we have the courage to open our hearts and be grateful of the experience even if it’s painful? When we can truly be thankful from our hearts in these challenging moments, that’s when we unlock another level of transformation.
It takes two to tango. Even if the other person or the situation has wronged you, by you holding onto the pain and the hurt, you’re still looping in the experience. Forgiveness is releasing the rope that tie you to that particular person or situation.
In addition, we also need to forgive ourselves. We tend to blame ourselves that we've made a mistake. We should have known better. We should have done better. The decisions we make in our life are based on the knowledge we had at the time. Even if we did make a mistake, it's part of being human.
Even if we feel like we failed, fail again. Fail better next time.
5. Distance yourself
When we’re in the heat of the moment, it’s so hard to see things clearly because that’s all we can think and feel about. This is also the time we tend make more mistakes because we’re right IN the middle of the situation and we don’t have the perspective.
So when we distance ourselves from the situation, like stepping away from the burning fire, we feel less heat. We gain clarity and now we can approach it from a different path.
6. Allow yourself to feel
Most of the time we’re so scared of feeling the hurt, pain, anger and frustration that we tend it block those emotions off with distractions. We distract ourselves with work, alcohol or shopping as long as we don’t have to feel it.
The thing is emotions only get suppressed and we’re creating a ticking time bomb. When it explodes, things go out of control.
So the key here is to allow ourselves to go within, be present, be centred and witness the situation as an observer knowing that nothing lasts permanently unless we allow it to be.
7. Claim your power
When we can truly accept the experience as is, be grateful for the lessons it has taught us, forgive the other person and ourselves, and when we allow ourselves to feel rather than repress, that’s when we’re taking responsibility of our response to the situation and our life.
That’s when we are truly in our power because we’re no longer putting the control outside of us. We may not be able to control the situation but we have a choice how we respond to it.
8. Open your heart
It’s normal for us to put up a wall once we get hurt because we’re scared of getting hurt or failing again. The walls we put up keep us safe, it’s true. However, those same walls will also keep us away from great things coming into our life too.
Keeping our hearts open and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable no matter what is a sign that we trust ourselves and that we trust in life. There’s a lesson in everything that happens in our life and business. Every experience is a test to see if we’re ready to rise up to the next level in our life and how ready we are for the new and amazing possibilities that will come our way.
I’ve done all these steps in my life over and over again, and it has never failed me to take me to the next level of transformation. Holding onto the old is heavier than letting go.
Because only when we make space, new opportunities can come into our life.
Letting go is one of the big topics that we went through in my online self-study program, Be Charged.Life. We cover anything from getting clear on your next steps, relationships, money, manifesting to setting goals. This is the program you should check out if you're ready to stop feeling unsure, overwhelmed and start stepping into your zone of genius and make an impact.